Where am I going?
What am I doing here?
I find myself asking these questions often. More often than usual, these days. See, my heart craves accomplishment. It thrives on scrambling to meet goals. About six months ago, I was struggling with a very tough decision. I had to make a choice between going to a local college and continuing my passion or going to the school of my dreams. I chose option ‘a’. I think about my dream-school often and I wonder how my life would be different if I would have chosen option ‘b’ instead. I wonder what kind of opportunities would’ve presented themselves. I think I’m afraid to find out exactly who Taylor Elchert is without the word “photography” following it. I am tearful writing this post. It’s a feeling that is hard to put a word to. A feeling that has been clouding my heart. I’m coming to terms with it, now. I was afraid. I still am.
So, let’s fast forward a bit. I’ve had my downtown studio for a month now. I love my little place. In my studio, I feel like anything is possible. It already holds so many memories… late nights with my best friend, mornings of precious babies, incredibly proud parents, and quite possibly, an equally proud photographer. My heart is so deeply invested my clients’ lives. I am overjoyed to capture every milestone, every moment, every memory. My weekends are full. So full of life, love, and happiness. I climb into bed Friday night thinking that my job is special, and I wearily fall asleep Saturday night, knowing that it is. Yet, these questions of ‘where’ and ‘what’ still linger. I’m always wanting more. I’m always wanting to know what is next for me. This isn’t where my photographic journey ends. There is more. I just don’t know where from here.
I’m not sure if I’ll ever be settled with where I’m at. I’ll always be questioning and striving for more. It’s just my spirit. It’s who I am. Sometimes, I feel like I’ll always be reaching for the stars, and I’m 100% okay with that as long as my camera stays firmly by my side. As for now, I’m praying that God gives me a bit of clarity.
Kudos to anyone that actually finished this rambling of a post. At least it included a pretty picture, right? I love me some baby lashes.